Recipe #4: Change Your Life- Take the Cost of Moving Forward with Nick Wingo

 

 “If we want change in this world we have to have people that are willing to lead from the front and show people that it’s okay to be bold and be who you are.” -Nick Wingo

 

“Real men don’t cry”— Where did that standard of masculinity even come from? From what we know, even the toughest warriors of old were expected to show their deepest emotions- and this was a symbol of their valiance. Men have been called names, shamed, and stereotyped to their detriment simply for being the human that they are. Nick Wingo was raised to suppress his emotions. But now, he fights to end this persisting fiction. Nick was a firefighter, always on the front lines. Losing his friends and witnessing thousands of deaths, he ultimately reached his breaking point. In this episode, Nick shares how he was able to overcome post-traumatic stress and come out stronger. He also talks about his book, Building Grit, and real-life lessons on tapping into the power of the mind, forging your own path, overcoming the fear of the unknown, being in a community, and engaging in fitness activities. Everyone has a seed of greatness planted inside. Tune in and learn how you can grow and take control of your life.

 

Takeaways: 

02:46 Thankful for the Unfortunate Events

10:06 Strong Men Cry 

16:02 Give Yourself Permission to Move Forward

21:54 Where the True Growth Happens

24:29 Make Your Own Path and Leave a Trail

28:21 Benefits of Being Fit

35:08 Building Grit

44:54 Tap Into Your Greatness!

 

Resources: 

Book

• Recipes for a Great Life: The Book that Will Fire You Up, Feed your Soul, & Make You Feel Good by Bruce Jeppesen  
• Building Grit: How to Fight the Fires of PTSD & Come Out Stronger on the Other Side by Nick Wingo  

 

 

Give yourself permission to feel your emotions and grow. Learn how you can move forward and change your life with Bruce and Building Grit author @NickWingo. #podcast #RecipesForAGreatLife #posttraumaticstress #suicideisreal #StrongMenCry… Share on X

 

Quotes: 

13:53 “Strong men cry because it takes strength to recognize your emotions.” -Nick Wingo

17:39 “The problem is not going to go away. What I can do is control the way that my body and my mind reacts to those things-and that takes discipline and it takes time.” -Nick Wingo

18:29 “If you can get over that fear of what is to come and the road ahead, that’s where you can have so much growth in your life; that’s where you can break through so many things.” -Nick Wingo

19:53 “Own where you are and give yourself permission to move forward” -Nick Wingo

21:45 “You do not have to stay where you’re at and your life and your family is so much more valuable even if you can’t see it.” -Bruce Jeppesen

23:38 “Where the true breakthroughs happen in your life is when you cut your own trail.” -Nick Wingo

27:10 “If we want change in this world we have to have people that are willing to lead from the front and show people that it’s okay to be bold and be who you are.” -Nick Wingo

31:00 “If you want to be successful in life, if you want to get to the next level, stop focusing on yourself so much. Help other people.” -Nick Wingo

31:41 “We’re meant to live with one another. You’re missing out on life if you don’t have a community.” -Nick Wingo

45:20 “Every single person has greatness inside them, they just haven’t figured out how to tap into it.” -Nick Wingo

 

Meet Our Guest!

 

Nick Wingo is a native of Colorado. At age 19, Nick entered the world of first-responders as a firefighter/paramedic. Growing up with a tough upbringing, Nick entered the force thinking he can take on the action and emergencies that the job entails. However, after losing eight of his friends and witnessing thousands of deaths, he had reached his breaking point. He suffered from post-traumatic stress, anxiety attacks, depression, nightmares, and thoughts of suicide. Nick decided to get the help he has put off for so long. Today, he is paying it forward by helping others like him to find hope and strength to get through their darkest moments. Nick wrote the book, Building Grit: How to Fight the Fires of PTSD & Come Out Stronger on the Other Side and also hosts the podcast, Building Grit One Call at a Time.

 

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Transcriptions:

Bruce Jeppesen: Good morning everybody. At least in this part of the world is morning. I got a super awesome guest here today that I want to bring to you. He’s been an amazing friend of mine that I met a few months ago at an event that we attended together. His name is Nick Wingo. He’s a former firefighter, and has changed his direction of his career in what he wants to do. So we’re going to talk about that. I want him to share that, I want him to have that in his words, not mine. And we’ll hit the highlights, excuse me, well, no doubt hit some super emotional stuff. So Nick, thank you so much for being here. I am so grateful for this.

Nick Wingo: Bruce, I’m super honored to be here with you. I appreciate the invite, and I really enjoy doing these, having conversations like this. And it’s an honor for me to be able to sit down and chat with you, so thank you. Thank you for bringing me on.

Bruce Jeppesen: Cool. Well, good. Let’s just get right into it. We met last October at an event in Utah with a group that we’re associated with, and we hit it off right away. There were so many other people there that everybody made that instant connection. Nick, his story was so close to my heart that I just had to have him on here to share it. So we spent a few days there at endurance design Park. And we got to do all kinds of cool stuff, like in and the meetings that we attended, and everything with our speakers. And so as I learned more about him the direction that I am going with this podcast, he fits it perfectly. So Nick, can you tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, kind of what led you up to where you are today?

Nick Wingo: Yeah, absolutely. So I live in Colorado, and have never lived anywhere else. Love being in Colorado. Actually, six generations that I’ve lived in Colorado now. It’s pretty crazy, but I grew up in a really good home. I had a supportive family. I had a dad that was rough and tough. He was hard on me. He [inaudible] me real hard, but I was super grateful for that. But my childhood overall was, it was a good childhood. There was a lot of good that came out of it. And when I turned 18, I had this dream that I was going to go to college and play football, and none of that worked out. And so my mom, she had told me like, hey, you should try out this firefighting thing. You should go to community college and get some certifications, see if it’s something that would work for you. And I was like, okay, yeah, I’ll give that a shot. I’ll give it a shot. So I went to school, I got my certifications. At that same time, I met my wife. We’ve been married now for 14 years. I went right into being a resident firefighter at 19 years old, so I really went straight into my career. A lot of people go to join the military, go that route. Other people go to college, I went to get certifications and I got right into being a firefighter. And that’s where my journey kind of began. I am super grateful that it started there. I’m super grateful that I had that experience. What it has turned into is unfortunate. It’s unfortunate the things that happen. It’s unfortunate the way that some of this stuff happened. 

However, I’m grateful for that because I would not be able to be headed in the direction and going in the direction I’m going if it was not for how everything played out. So my career was a rough one. I lost a total of eight friends in the fire service. Up to this point, I still have friends so there’s still a chance that I could lose more friends. I witnessed thousands and thousands of deaths, childhood traumas, suicides, murders and just really heavy, heavy, heavy stuff. And it progressively started wearing on me, and I had no idea. So this last year, it kind of came to a head, it really came to a head. So I had been having post traumatic stress that I didn’t even know that I had for approximately, looking back, I can identify at least five years back when I was having post traumatic stress. I wasn’t sleeping, I was getting like two hours of sleep a night, I was having severe nightmares. I was having really bad anxiety attacks. I was having moments of depression. I was having all this crazy stuff, and I couldn’t really put a thumb on what was going on with me. But I knew something was up, something was wrong. So in order to combat that, I spent a lot of time on self development and my fitness. And because that was one way that I recognized that I could kind of push through these things. Well, COVID happened and the crisis that came out of COVID, the mental health crisis caused so many terrible things that I had witnessed that I came to my wit’s end. I just could not go forward anymore. 

So on September 20 of last year, I looked at my partner, I said: “Look, man, I’m having nightmares. I can’t sleep, it’s been rough.” And so he told my captain, my captain pulled me off and he’s like, Look, you need to go get help. So I went and I got help, and they told me post traumatic stress. And I was like, post traumatic stress, like you’re full of crap. There’s no way I have post traumatic stress, you guys have lost your damn mind. It’s just part of our job, part of who I am, or this is all a piece of it. And here’s the problem, what happens to firefighters is that there has been an environment that has been created, that post traumatic stress is not really a thing that we have, it’s not something that we really look for, it’s not something we talk about, it’s just, suck it up, move on, move forward. That’s just what you do. That’s what I did for so long. Well, it was not working for me anymore. It was not a good plan for me anymore. I could not suck it up anymore. There was no more burying it deep down inside of me, it was coming out sideways. 

And then I had some more things, my dad died and we had to kick my in-laws out of our lives because my father in law had molested my wife as a child, and he was supposed to be in counseling for the rest of his life and he didn’t do that. And then he started being inappropriate so we had to cut that relationship. So all these unfortunate events happened which led down a path where I started having severe suicidal ideations. I felt like there was no hope for me. I felt like there was no way out. So this year in February, I was admitted into inpatient treatment and I spent approximately 40 days in inpatient treatment because I just couldn’t do anymore. I could not do it on my own. I was really at that breaking point of like, I was gonna kill myself, or I was gonna go get treatment. And so I recognized like, I was choosing to go get treatment because I knew that I had a family that I wanted to be here for, but I also knew that I was struggling really, really bad. And so I went to treatment. And in treatment, I recognize that I can’t go back to work anymore. I can’t go back to the fire department. I can’t be a firefighter anymore because I do not have the mental capacity to take on any more trauma. My trauma bucket is full. Because if I was to go back to work and witness continuing more trauma, more trauma, more trauma, I’m going to go right down that same path. I’m going to go right back to that same thing. And so I made a hard boundary for myself and said, no more. And so that’s been a really difficult process to go through because I’m working on disability. 

A lot of people tell you, well, you’re disabled now so you can’t do this, you can’t do that. It’s a really difficult space to work through. That’s why I wrote my book because it was very cathartic. When I was in Maryland getting treatment, when I came back seven days later, one of the guys that was there, killed himself. It was just one of those moments where I recognized that this is a real problem that not enough people are talking about, and I can’t sit back and not say anything anymore. It’s time for somebody to shed light on this. So that is my soul. My purpose is to help other people through their post traumatic stress and just help them realize like, hey, it’s okay to not be okay, and you’re not the only one that is struggling through this stuff. I know that’s kind of a long winded, there’s a lot more details to it, but I’m trying to try to just kind of put it down into one little, five minute like, hey, this is kind of where I was, and this is where I’m headed now. Like that’s where we’re at now.

Bruce Jeppesen: That’s actually, that’s so perfect, the way that you shared that because there’s so many people struggling, and I want people to hear that because that was my same story. So similar. I chose, well, I did not go to a check in treatment, but I went to a psychologist. And the first one I went to was this older lady, you walked into the office and it was like, this was the wrong environment to walk into. She was trying to play this kind of a hard ass with me and I’m like, honey, you don’t know. You have no idea what you’re doing. So they put me on some medication, and it made me feel like an absolute blob. So I went and I said, take me off, I’m going to take myself off. And we had an argument. I said: “Well, I’m leaving.” And I wean myself off of it. I was like, Okay, well, if that’s what treatments are all about, then it’s just bullshit. I’m just gonna suck it up. And a little time later, there was a psychiatrist, whichever, they were keeping them straight.

Nick Wingo: One of them is prescribes meds, and the other one does it. And I can never remember which ones which. Psychiatry is that prescribes medications. The ability to prescribe medication, psychologist, I believe.

Bruce Jeppesen: My dad used to be the sheriff in my hometown when I was growing up, and he was very proactive in trying to find people that were helping with that kind of stuff or that needed help. So anyway, long story short, there was a guy that he worked with. He had people go when he was a sheriff so I went to him, and it only took an hour with him. And that day changed my life. It took me out of that suicidal ideology, the whole thing. And what came of that was he knew our family and some of the stuff. He says: “You guys grew up in agriculture. You guys are active and busy all the time, you just need to go get a hobby.” Because I explained my environment. So I got a hobby, I started working on cars again, which was my first love. And that took off from there. So then, I couldn’t put up with the crap anymore of just the political BS in a government job so I quit. And that was the biggest step to healing for myself. So many people think we have to be that Lone Ranger person. No matter what it is, we have to be tough, we have to suck it up and all that, which is such BS. I don’t know where that came from. I know older generations, I was having a conversation with some people the other day about men showing emotion. And everybody thinks, oh, you can’t do this. You can’t do that. And after that conversation, I got to think about it like, okay, you teach men not to cry. You teach little boys that they can’t cry. So how does that manifest itself and come out? Well, it comes out in anger.

Nick Wingo: Absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: So it’s okay to punch somebody, or to kill somebody, or rape somebody, molest them, whatever. Basically, you’re saying that it’s okay to do that amongst men. Not that it’s okay, but that’s an accepted form of showing your emotion. But you can’t cry.

 

 “Strong men cry because it takes strength to recognize your emotions.” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: Yeah. It’s so funny because I wrote about this in the book. One of my chapters is Strong Men Cry, because it takes strength to recognize your emotions. So one of the things that I realized, one of my big issues I was struggling with is I had no clue how to show or feel my emotions. In fact, when I was at the center of excellence, they handed me this thing called the emotion wheel. I looked at it and I go, what the shit is this? I’ve never even seen some of these emotions on this wheel. I’m like, I don’t even know that these were emotions. Like I didn’t know these were things that you could feel, but I knew I could be mad, I knew I could be sad. Other than that, outside of that, I was like, I didn’t really understand any of my other emotions because I had been trained to shut it down, shut it down, shut it down. What happens when you shove stuff down? At some point, your bucket gets full and it starts coming out sideways. All this stuff that affects the other people around you. So once I recognize, okay, I have emotions. And then I started recognizing, like, how are those emotions coming out? Where do I feel emotions in my body? Then once I started to recognize, like, oh, okay, when I start to get angry, my chest starts to get heavy and I get a headache. I feel heaviness. I recognize that. And what you do when you start to get in touch with the way that your emotions, the interactions and the reactions that your body start to create because of those emotions. What happens is that I can start to recognize the change in my body in the way that I’m feeling. And I can go, oh, I’m about to have an anger verse, or I’m about to be sad, or I’m about to have these emotions that are coming out sideways. So early recognition of those emotions can help you to put those emotions into check and to kind of redirect and pivot those emotions around so that they’re not causing you so many issues and so many problems.

Bruce Jeppesen: So growing up, were you able to show emotion like crying? Or was that something that you’re like–

 

“The problem is not going to go away. What I can do is control the way that my body and my mind reacts to those things-and that takes discipline and it takes time.” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: I was trained not to, because I was trained to suck it up. I walked around on a broken foot for a year until my dad finally was like, okay, you’re damn. Like, I’ll take you to the doctor because you’ve been complaining for a year. And I went in and my foot was broken. So that was the environment I grew up in. I was just trained to be tough and to be rough. So my pain tolerance is like, probably 10 times higher than your normal individual because I can’t tell you how many times I suck it up. We’re trained. Our minds are so much stronger than we even realize. We are not even tapping into 2% of the strength that our minds truly have. I truly believe that. And once you start to really tap into that stuff, the power that you have inside you is amazing. The things that you can do, the places you can go, the stuff that you’re going to move and maneuver through is amazing. But let me make something abundantly clear, that doesn’t mean that you’re not going to still have hard days and hard crap that you’re going to have to work through. Because often, it’s like we’re going through my stuff right now. 

People say we have post traumatic stress, how can you be okay? I’m like, well, I’m not really okay. I’m just learning how to go, okay, I’m having this problem now, and this is how I’m going to maneuver through the problems not going to go away. The trauma is not going to go away, it will always be there, it will always be in my mind. The things that I have seen I cannot unsee. What I can do is I can control the way that my body and my mind reacts to those things, and that takes discipline, it takes time. There’s so many things that I have put into place as non-negotiables. Because I know that if I don’t do those things, I know what that road looks like. I already know what it looks like, and I’m not willing to go back down that road because it was terrible. So often in life, we know where our road is. Yet, we still go back there because we know what it looks like, and we fear what something else could be. So if you can get over that fear of what is to come in the road ahead, that’s where you can have so much growth in your life. That’s where you can break through so many things. I know what that one looks like, and it does not work for me. It’s bad. It’s really, really, really bad. Instead of staying in that comfort zone because we fear that the thing that we’re going to do could be worse. Maybe it is, or maybe it’s 10 times better. You already know what that looks like, so why in the world are you going to go back to that? Because you know it sucks, you know it’s terrible, the cost is high there, the cost is high to move forward. I want to take the cost of moving with the chance that my life is going to change.5

 

“If you can get over that fear of what is to come and the road ahead, that’s where you can have so much growth in your life; that’s where you can break through so many things.” -Nick Wingo

 

Bruce Jeppesen: At some point in there, did you feel that you had to give yourself permission to do that?

 

“Own where you are and give yourself permission to move forward” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: Absolutely. Absolutely. It’s all about giving yourself permission to maneuver through things. So it’s all about giving yourself permission, recognizing and owning your shit right where you are. So often in this culture that we live in right now, I want to be 100% honest with you, a lot of people aren’t gonna like this. And if they don’t, I don’t care anymore because I really don’t care what you think about me. But you just need to own your shit, own it. Own where you are, give yourself permission to move forward and be okay with what you’re in at that moment. And also be okay with going, I need to move forward, I can’t stay right where I am. Because again, I already know what that looks like, and it’s not working. So why in the world would you stay there?

Bruce Jeppesen: Yeah. That was the worst thing that I think I had to deal with, giving myself that permission. And then the other side of it was not knowing I was so oblivious to you, the way that you could find help or how to do it, and all that kind of stuff. And I talked to other people like, well, yeah, it’s not that bad. But the part that you were talking about there is going back and staying with that old stuff, or moving ahead when we get into those darker or harder times, we go back to what’s familiar because we’re afraid of the unknown. And even though that past is hurtful, it’s scary, it’s bad, whatever, but at least you’re familiar with it. And when you’re unfamiliar with where you’re going, that can be more scary to people than staying in that bad environment, or that bad state of mind. With jobs, how many people stick with a job? Like the job you had, it’s like, well, I can’t lose this job. I got these benefits, this and that. Well, if you don’t leave this job, it could cost you your life.

Nick Wingo: Absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: That’s where I was. So when you said that, I’m like, holy crap. And this is way more prevalent than we realize. So I really want people to hear and understand that. That you do not have to stay where you’re at, that your life and your family is so much more valuable even if you can’t see it.

 

“You do not have to stay where you’re at and your life and your family is so much more valuable even if you can’t see it.” -Bruce Jeppesen

 

Nick Wingo: Yeah, for sure. I had to make a choice. I had to make a hard choice, right? When it comes down to like, do I go back? Or do I not go back? So what I did was I stepped back and I really evaluated because I had this blessing of going away for 35 days for treatment, and that was the best blessing I’ve had in my entire life. So really, honestly, the easy path would have been for me to say, yeah, I’m fine. I’m good. I can go back. I can do this. It’ll be right. And it was the familiarity. I was familiar with what it was. So I could have gone back to it, and it would have been okay, it would have been fine. But I knew in my heart and my gut that if I went back, I knew what that looked like. And I knew the likelihood of what was going to happen. The doctors were telling me the same thing. If you go back, it is highly likely that you were going to get stuck in the same rut. So I chose the hard path and said: “You know what? I’m not going back. I can’t do it anymore. I cannot put myself in that position anymore.” And that was a hard decision. That was really hard. 

I’m getting a lot of adversity and a lot of things that are roadblocks because I chose that path. Because I chose the path that was not beaten down. Because I chose the path like I’m having to cut down trees, I’m literally having to cut a trail, I’m headed down a trail that nobody has been down that I have not been down. I didn’t even choose anybody else’s trail. Because sometimes, you can just pick another person’s trail, jump on their trail because it’s beaten down already. Where the true growth happens, and where the true breakthroughs happen in your life, I believe, is when you cut your own trail. Like at some point, you have to make a decision and be like, that’s not my trail. That’s not the one that’s meant for me. My trail is the path that I’m going to make, so that’s the decision I’m making. It’s hard work, man, cutting down trees sucks. Because you cut them down, then every once in a while they fall across your trail, and then you have to buck them up even more, and then clear them out. Like there’s a lot of work cutting your own trail. So people think they’re just gonna jump on this trail and they think they’re not gonna run down this trail, and I’m gonna get somewhere. No, no, you got to do all the work to get through it, and that stuff sucks. It’s hard work every single day. I’m working as hard as I can to continue to move forward in my life.

 

“Where the true breakthroughs happen in your life is when you cut your own trail.” -Nick Wingo

 

Bruce Jeppesen: I have a quote, I can’t remember the whole thing, but it’s basically, don’t take the easy path, but make your own path and leave a trail. And there’s more to it. I wish I didn’t think about it just now, but there’s so much to that. And like a bit ago, you mentioned about how you either stay or stay in that hard spot because it’s easier to stay with a familiar versus fighting this new trail. You’re talking about clearing. When I was in the military, we’re down to Panama so we got out in the jungle for three weeks. I don’t know if you’ve thought, you said you’ve never been out of Denver, or maybe a lot, but the jungle in Central America is no joke. You literally cannot see the sky when you look up, what they call the triple canopy. And when you look ahead, if somebody is three feet in front of you, you can’t see him. Growing up, you see all these movies where people are hacking their way to the jungle with these machetes. Well, that is real life. What I was going through some of this stuff, the thing that a couple of people have told me, they’re like, you are on your own path. Now, you are cutting away the obstacles in front of you that you know nothing about and you’re totally unfamiliar with, but yet, you’re doing it. So that path is going to allow other people to see that struggle and follow you, and know that it’s possible that they can do it on their own. So what you said there was, I understand that very well, and I know other people do too so thanks for sharing that.

 

“If we want change in this world we have to have people that are willing to lead from the front and show people that it’s okay to be bold and be who you are.” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: Yeah, absolutely. I really truly believe that God has blessed me and gave me the ability to lead other people. That’s my biggest gift, I can lead others, and I can punch holes in walls, and I can cut paths. And when people see that, then they’ll get to a point falling behind. They’ll go, oh, okay, now it’s time for me to cut my own path. And I don’t think that I know that that’s the way we were meant to live in life as we were meant to lead people and help them along their journey. And then they get to go out, branch out and help other people. And when you start to do that, when you start to do those things, it’s amazing to see the absolute impact, the wave of impact that can be made. We need more people that are willing to step out and do the hard stuff. If we want change in this world, if we want things to be better, if we want to get rid of some of this stuff that’s going on, we have to have people that are willing to lead from the front and show people that it’s okay to be bold and just be who you are.

Bruce Jeppesen: Boy, you could not have said that better. That’s absolutely a perfect way to put that. I have that exact same thing. And my experience was, I was always a wallflower. I put myself in the back of the room because I hated attention. So now, I’m making the shift where I’m not an attention seeker, but I want to be able to lead people and have that genuine confidence to do it. Not for any recognition for myself, but just to say, hey, I’ve been there. I’ve done it, I understand it. I can give you some pointers on how to get your own path and start clearly.

Nick Wingo: Yeah, absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: I know you are really into fitness. How much does that help you with the times when you’re struggling? What is it about fitness that you really love?

 

“If you want to be successful in life, if you want to get to the next level, stop focusing on yourself so much. Help other people.” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: It’s crucial for me. I have learned that fitness is a crucial piece of who I am. Because when I am at my fittest, my body feels better. And I operate at a higher level. I’ve learned that if like, right now, I’m 20 pounds overweight, and people are like 20 pounds overweight, no way. I’m like, no, I literally, I’m 20 pounds overweight, and I know that. People like, you’re so fit though. And I’m like, yeah, but I know the true potential I have of myself, and I know what it feels to be that 20 pounds lighter. I know that when I’m there, I am at my best. And one of the big pieces for me from my post traumatic stress is getting the release from working out. Because I get pissed off, I get angry and I know that. I tell you what, getting in and yelling at weights, screaming and working out like that is such a great way to release your rage. Because if I don’t release it on the weights, somebody’s getting it. Somebody’s going to get that anger, whether it be my wife, or my kids, or my friends, or people around me. Like somebody’s getting it. 

So I recognize that I have to make sure that the weights get it because they do not care what I say to them, or how I talk to them, they’re just there. They’re there for me that no matter what, they don’t talk back, they don’t scream. They take the punishment, punishment I give them and they’re loyal to me every single time. And so I’ve learned that if I do that, I’m just better all the way around. Many people don’t recognize the true benefit in really good fitness. And once you get a taste of it, not like just a partial taste, but like a real true taste of what it feels to be truly fit. Once you get that, you recognize like, oh, man, I need that. Now, I have to have it. Like right now bringing in a group of people, I’m thinking of as many people I can along my journey because I’m like, hey, I can help you guys. I’m not charging them anything. It’s just fun for me. It’s fun for me to bring people along my journey. 

So if I can share with them and show them like, hey, when you get to this level of fitness, the way that you feel, the way that you operate, the way that things are just so much better and that’s cool. That’s cool to see. And I believe that when I give that, I will be able to receive abundantly. So the universe I’m giving, I’m giving, I’m giving, and it’s amazing to see the things that I receive. And so if you want to be successful in life, if you want to get to the next level, stop focusing on yourself so damn much. Help some other people. Stop being so damn selfish. You want something, build a community. Because I tell you what, it’s freaking crazy. When you have a community that you’re surrounded by and you have a problem, 20, 30, 40, 50, 100 people that are on your side, I guarantee you, one of those people is going to be able to help you solve your problem.

 

“We’re meant to live with one another. You’re missing out on life if you don’t have a community.” -Nick Wingo

 

Bruce Jeppesen: Exactly.

Nick Wingo: Whereas, if you’re going on your own and you run into a problem, you’re like, oh, crap, how do I fix this? I’ve never run into this. We’re meant to live in a community. We’re meant to live with one another. It’s just the way it’s meant to be, and you’re missing out on life. If you don’t have community, you’re missing out on a lesson you really, really are. You’re robbing yourself. So if you’re so selfish that all you care about is yourself and your next level, on your next list, and your next that, life’s gonna be crappy.

Bruce Jeppesen: Yeah. The thing that nothing feels better to me than to give. It can be the simplest little tiny thing and I do it. A lot of times, I do it. People don’t know I did it because I don’t want the recognition. I don’t want people to think that I have, okay, I gave you this. So now, you owe me. I grew up that way, and I hate that. So it’s like a simple thing. You go through a drive, through fast food or whatever and you just pay for somebody behind you. Yeah, my cost is six, seven bucks. So what? But when you drive away knowing that you did that just out of the kindness of your heart, that will change you. And so you hear people doing that all the time, all the way up to some people, they have a lot of money and they love to give, and they’ll pay for kids braces, or maybe some medical bills, or put somebody through college and they remain anonymous the whole time. I mean, that’s just like, over Whitefish, Montana where we just had this last 365 Driven Event. There is a search and rescue helicopter that’s there, I went to look at it a few years ago, I talked to some guys. And there’s a guy who’s so wealthy, this is a $5 million aircraft. The way they have it set up, and this is five years ago. He paid for the helicopter, he pays for all of this training for everybody that has to use it. The maintenance, 100%, everything he pays for because he had a family member who passed away in a car accident and they couldn’t get to him quickly knowing that a medivac or mercy flight helicopter could have done it. So that’s why he bought it. It probably cost him. I don’t know what that costs a year, but I’ll say it’s a lot. It’s in the hundreds of thousands.

Nick Wingo: Yeah, it’s not cheap.

Bruce Jeppesen: That’s just something he does. So when you look at somebody who can do that, well, I can’t do that, but I can buy stuff, but I can buy somebody a cup of coffee. I can see somebody with a flat tire on the side of the road, I can stop and change it if the environment feels safe. And if we change our way of thinking to, like you said, where you focus on helping somebody else, that’s the first step into getting all that crap off of you. It’s all about me, kind of thing. I mean, that’s a true loving giving heart. Compassionate, empathy throughout the–

Nick Wingo: True empathy. Yeah, for sure.

Bruce Jeppesen: So well, we’re kind of winding down here a little bit on time. You mentioned your book, would you want to share some more about that?

Nick Wingo: Yeah, for sure. The book has been such a huge, huge blessing for me. It’s been crazy to see some of the things that have transpired so I’ve been out for like 12 days or something, 11 days. Some of the stories that have gotten back already have been just crazy. Guys have read it cover to cover. It’s been a huge blessing, but the book is called Building Grit: How to Fight the Fires of PTSD & Come Out Stronger on the Other Side. You can find it on Amazon, you type Building Grit and Nick Wingo. Actually now, Building Grit will pop right up because we’ve had enough people starting to buy it so it pops up real fast. The book was wrote in my perspective as being a firefighter and the lessons that I’ve learned. However, there are a lot of lessons that I’ve learned that could benefit anyone in any part in any time of their life. So basically, what I did is I took all the stuff I’ve been through, and I converted those into those lessons and just shared those with people and just said like, hey, if I can get through this stuff, so can you. So yeah, I’m hopeful that it can help millions of people.

Bruce Jeppesen: Excellent mindset on that. Most people think, well, if they can help, if it can help one person, the whole thing was worth it. You want to help that one person, you want it to reach those millions, like you were saying.

Nick Wingo: Yeah, it’s already helpful. I’ve already helped my one. If that didn’t make it worth it, however, I know that I’m bigger than that. I know that my potential is bigger than that. I know what I’m capable of. I will help millions of people, it’s gonna take some time. It’s going to take time, dedication and work, but I’m willing to put in the work. I’m legitimate. I put my phone number in that book, I really care. I legitimately care. I have a line that’s dedicated to that book solely. I’m serious, if you’re having problems, you reach out to me, I will get back to you. At some point, I will help you to get the resources you need. I will talk to you for 10 minutes to help you through something if you’re in your darkest moment. It wasn’t just about the book for me, it was legitimately about helping people I really, really do care.

Bruce Jeppesen: So did you say you have a separate phone number just for that?

Nick Wingo: Just for that. Absolutely. I carry a phone that is dedicated solely to that phone number, for that book. For anybody who wants to reach out to me, they can reach out to me any time, and I will be there. I may not be able to answer the phone right away, but I will, myself or someone will get back to you on that. It’s 100% my guarantee.

Bruce Jeppesen: Dude, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I’d never ever heard that before. I’ve heard of people put on Instagram page or something like that. But do you have your book handy?

Nick Wingo: I think I got a copy right here actually.

Bruce Jeppesen: Okay, I’m gonna grab mine too. Yeah, here it is. Oh, let’s see. Perfect. Building Grid.

Nick Wingo: Nice. Super awesome. I saw on that last page. On page 159, there’s my number 720-472-4400. And anybody listening to this podcast, you’re struggling, this resonates with you. Seriously, do not hesitate for a second to reach out to me because I’m someone who cares, and I will do everything in my power that I can with the resources I have to help you.

Bruce Jeppesen: That’s the most genuine thing I’ve ever heard. Nick, that is incredible. Thank you for sharing that.

Nick Wingo: Absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: I think Ed Mylett was the first one I heard say this, and I’ve heard it so many times since then, that things happen for you, not for you.

Nick Wingo: Absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: And the first time I heard that, I’m like, it just didn’t register because I never thought like that. And the more I thought about it, this and that, I absolutely agree with it. Because when you’re on a path like you and I are on and so many others who want to help people, when you make that conscious shift to think like that, you get out of that scarcity mindset, which I used to be horrible in, and then it into an abundance mindset. That right there will make all the difference in your life. And another thing that I learned, and Ed, I think I heard it from him, he was one of the first guys that really started listening to it, it was the Reticular Activating System, or RAS. If you don’t know what that is, research that after Ed talked about it. 

I was really frustrated one day. I was on a Facebook page and I typed in something, and a friend of mine jumped on and was talking about that. She really explained it to me. Makes a huge difference, so I really encourage anyone and everyone listening just for no other reason to look at it for yourself because you might be able to recommend it to somebody. So one thing, Nick, I’m really curious about, I see you got lots of ink. I love tattoos. I don’t have any yet, I think they’re cool. And when I met you in person, I was surprised how good it shaped you, how much bigger you were in person, physical lives. It’s obvious that you work out, and you truly enjoy it. And when I saw the cover of your book, I hope that’s coming through the right way. I said that cover, if I was walking through Barnes & Nobles and saw that, I’d reach out and buy it just because of the cover. That is the coolest cover I’ve ever seen. I was really happy with it. I was really happy with it. And the thing now, because I know you, I’ve met you in person, that is so you. I love that coat. I know that this book is going to help a lot of people, and I know the trajectory that you’re on is going to help a ton of people. And can I ask you a couple of questions?

Nick Wingo: Yeah, absolutely.

Bruce Jeppesen: Okay. Since part of my deal is food and what I’m doing, what is your favorite food?

Nick Wingo: Beef brisket. I love the barbecue, that’s my jam. It’s the fattiest meat you can eat, but it’s the best. Like good barbecue. Oh, man, like hands down.

Bruce Jeppesen: We’re instant best friends right there. And then here’s one it says, where do you see yourself in five years, and then 10 years with what you’re working on?

Nick Wingo: Yeah. I’m going to be impacting millions of people. So my goal is to be a motivational speaker because I have a presence about me that it’s not a lot of others. I’m very different. So I will be presenting to millions of people on stages across the US, and helping people become the best versions of themselves. And in 10 years, more of the same, just tenfold more, just more people, more speaking engagements. I’m going to be doing some online, we’re launching a marriage retreat with my wife, it’s called [inaudible]. We’re helping young marrieds re engage their intimacy, and re engage, what it looks like to be a truly God centered marriage with good intimacy, because a lot of people aren’t talking about that piece. So that’s where my heart is, just in those two major things.

Bruce Jeppesen: Well, that’s awesome. That’s another thing that we hadn’t even covered yet. This is the importance of God in our lives. A lot of people that don’t believe in that, or they’ve had a bad experience. I had always believed in it, but I just always thought, okay, God’s there. But for me, I came to know God through trauma. He was literally through a day, the last day that I was going to end my life. I was on my way to go do it, and I had two ideas that pop in my head. I drove past this church every day and I’m like, you know what? I got nothing to lose by going in there. If it doesn’t work, I’ll just go do it. I pulled into that parking lot, I walked in, talked to the Secretary, she must have saw the strain on me so she had a pastor come out immediately. Talk to him, that moment changed everything. And that was all totally a god moment. And you can never be that. Never be thankful enough for something like that. And it gives me that drive out to give back, which is the whole premise behind this podcast, by my cooking, meeting guys like you and just sharing this stuff because there’s not enough people talking about it like you had mentioned. Would you have any last things that you would want to share with people just from your heart?

 

“Every single person has greatness inside them, they just haven’t figured out how to tap into it.” -Nick Wingo

 

Nick Wingo: Yeah, absolutely. Life is hard. A lot of shit happens to us. That sucks. A lot of things are going to try to take you down at your knees, and that’s not going away, it’s not going anywhere. As you maneuver through life, they’re going to continue to be challenges, they’re going to continue to be hard things, they’re going to continue to be things that are going to try to take you out. I truly believe that every single person has greatness inside of them, they just haven’t figured out how to tap into it. So if you’re listening to this and you feel discouraged, you feel like you just keep on having all these things that are bringing you down and stopping you from doing what you’re trying to do, they absolutely are trying to stop you, but you have a decision to make. You can choose to stay in the shit, in the mud and stay stuck. Or you can do the hard thing and step out, begin to shake that stuff off. Be centered, be grounded. Remember who is important to you, remember your core values and the things that are the most important to you. Remember your priorities. For me, it’s God, myself, my marriage, my family, and then all the other stuff. So if you have your priorities straight in life, it’s amazing. It’s amazing how things are, just like they’re supposed to be.

Bruce Jeppesen: Man, I love that analogy of getting out of the mud. And the thought that came to my head is if you’re feeling like that, the first thing to do is to crawl out of the mud. If you can just get to the edge, get up on your elbows, get your head above water and you just keep, literally, crawling out of it. When you get to solid ground where you can stand up, and then you’re like, okay, I’m out of that mud. Now, I can really shake off this, and literally, physically shake it up. Because if you’ve been in mud before, you know what that’s like, then you can continue on, and then you can get to take a shower to wash. A lot of us do the heavy stuff off outside, but you still have that stuff on the inside, but at least you’ve released that weight and that is horrible, it’s just like having been covered in that dreadful feeling. And so that analogy, Nick, was absolutely perfect. I love that.

Nick Wingo: You can get rid of the mud, you can’t get rid of the trauma. You’re gonna always remember what it felt like to be stuck in that mud, and you’re always gonna remember the sinking feeling that you had. The feeling that you thought like you were going to die. But you don’t have to continue to actually physically be in the mud.

Bruce Jeppesen: Exactly. So do you have ways, you have your phone, but do you have like a website, or Instagram, or Facebook where people can–

Nick Wingo: My Instagram is building_grit, and then my Facebook right now is grit wins, or you can look up my, just Building Grit. Just Building Grit on Facebook, you can find me there. So that’s the easiest way to find me. I try to keep everything real simple. Just building_grit on Instagram, and Building Grit on Facebook.

Bruce Jeppesen: Cool. Thank you. Do you have something to say?

Nick Wingo: No.

Bruce Jeppesen: Okay. It’s amazing how an hour can just zipping by and not realize it. So it’s been so great to see you again and be able to talk to you. So thank you, Nick, for sharing that. I look forward to where you’re going, what you’re doing. And I want to help you in any way, shape or form that I can. So please remember that. I know we’re going to do some great things. I know we’re going to get together. Hopefully, not too far in the future just to visit and see.

Nick Wingo: Absolutely, I’d love that.

Bruce Jeppesen: So that ends it for this segment of Recipes for a Great Life. And remember, recipes are not just for food, but it’s pretty obvious that Nick and I like barbecue. And so when you start looking at things that you have in common with people, I’ve had this discussion several times, you may not know somebody. Like if you’re at an event, or car show, or a fare, or whatever, if you’re eating something really good, you can start amazing conversations just by yelling your booty call, like corn dog, whatever. It might be a fair event or whatever. And that’s simple. You can start conversations like that, and you’ll automatically have something in common. So thank you again, I really appreciate it. I look forward to what God has in your future for you and your family. And that is a wrap for this episode of Recipes for a Great Life. Thank you for watching, and we will catch you next time.

Nick Wingo: Thanks, Bruce. I appreciate it.

Bruce Jeppesen: Yep, thank you, Nick. This is Bruce, thank you for spending time with us today. Please subscribe to our channel, share with a friend and leave us a review. We will see you here again next week for more recipes for a great life.